Thought this TED talk was worth sharing.

I couldn’t agree more with what Julie talks about- although we want what’s best for our kids, they are overprotected, over coddled and extremely entitled. At the same time, as parents, our expectations for them are way beyond anything that was expected of earlier generations. And our expectations have led to “over-parenting”

I never felt the kind of stress that my kids’ generation feels while I was growing up. I never felt the need to compete at such a high level to get into colleges- It just wasn’t that tough to get in to decent schools back then. I actually played sports for pure enjoyment-not for a scholarship. AP classes were not a big push back then-regular classes were just fine. Our parents were involved in our lives only to a certain extent, yet we never felt neglected or ignored. They were our parents, not our BFF! And social media did not exist so real friendships were based on talking, not texting.

So why now as parents have we made it so different for our own kids? Why do we make sure our kids are taking the most advanced classes, are excelling in whatever they do and are always busy? Why are we driving home the notion that they must have a well rounded resume to get into a good college? At the same time that we are pushing them to be the best, why do we succumb to their every want and whim instead of saying no or making them figure it out for themselves? And why do we not realize that we are the ones causing the problem?

Today’s teenagers/millennials are burnt out, fighting depression and academic pressure while all the time glued to their phones and social media for “fear of missing out”. The fact is, most of them are just not all that happy. Is this what we wanted for our kids?

This is why “self-efficacy” is so important when raising kids. They need to learn early how to do things for themselves, how to be successful or experience failure on their own. They need to establish their “sense of self” so that they have the skillset to be successful wherever life takes them.

We are not doing our kids any favors in the long run by over parenting and over indulging. We must stop the cycle.